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Jacqui from Goodordering 

Is anyone else's 4 year old obsessed with death? My son asks all sorts of questions like "how does someone actually die, do they just fall over and they're dead or lie down and go to sleep or what" and he really wants a proper answer. He also sometimes at the dinner table randomly says, "i don't want to die" or "who is going to die first, mummy or mama?". We normally are very light hearted about it. Is this a 4 year old phase? what do other parents answer to the death question???

TOP RESPONSE
Mike Tantrum 
I think a lot of kids go through a phase where they try to understand death. It really is up to you to decide how you want to tackle it (e.g. If you follow a particular religion etc). There are 2 things that I would suggest though. 1. Make sure he knows it's ok to talk about, especially if there are times that his questions seem to suggests that he is worried/scared/sad about the concept. 2. Don't liken death to "sleep" or "getting sick" as these can make kids very nervous about getting mildly sick or even going to bed. How do you answer his questions?
ALL RESPONSES
Mike Tantrum 
I think a lot of kids go through a phase where they try to understand death. It really is up to you to decide how you want to tackle it (e.g. If you follow a particular religion etc). There are 2 things that I would suggest though. 1. Make sure he knows it's ok to talk about, especially if there are times that his questions seem to suggests that he is worried/scared/sad about the concept. 2. Don't liken death to "sleep" or "getting sick" as these can make kids very nervous about getting mildly sick or even going to bed. How do you answer his questions?
Mike Tantrum 
There are also several books out there to help kids learn about death. One that often gets mentioned is "lifetimes" which is nearly as old as me! A lot of people favour that one as it does not mention anything that could be religious, so it's a good universal book apparently.
Let's Ask Livvy 
Hi Jacqui- as Mike Tantrum says- this is a very common stage around your son's age- a stage when kids learn they have the power to find out more by asking questions- with some inquisitive minds you get more or repetitive questions when they do not understand the answers they are given or if the answers do not make sense. It is a good idea to give age appropriate fact based responses- this does not mean that you have to list all the ways people can die, but it tells your son that it is ok to ask questions and that death is something we all have questions about. Being only 4 though be mindful of not giving too much information- he is just asking questions about something that he is does not understand- do not over think it or spend too much time discussing it as he may not have the ability to process/ understand the language/ concepts being discussed which will cause more confusion and probably more questions. Hope this helps let me know if you want/ need more info.

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