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From feminist porn to frottage...

Sex is sex, right? Well yes, normally. But, after giving birth, sex can be off the cards, writes Lisa Williams, and this is when it might be helpful to separate 'intercourse', from 'sex'. 
Because 'intercourse', as well as being the least sexy word since 'textbook' is often the problematic, painful part, whereas 'sex' in its generic form, can be fantastic, relaxing and fun too. So, no matter what weird stuff is happening to your body after giving birth, whether your pelvic floor is not what it once was, whether the thought of getting pregnant again makes you want to join a nunnery, or whether you're exhausted and just can't be bothered with the whole effort of it, these sex alternatives might be worth trying instead...

Frottage means rubbing yourselves up against each other in a sexual fashion. In practice, try clamping your legs together while your partner, for want of a better description, ruts up against the outside your hoo-ha with the help of a little lube. Super-sexy and, if you can suggest this with a straight face, your relationship is probably stronger than you think. 

Naked time 
Don't put pressure on yourself to go all the way. Try lying in bed naked for a cuddle and an old-school canoodle, and whether this leads to sex or a snooze, it's a result. 

If you've got some oil leftover from that bizarre spell of perineal massage, put it to good use with a massage. Tired, baby-carrying arms, backs and shoulders are in need of some TLC and, though your boobs might be out-of-bounds, inner thighs, hips and butt can be worked on too. Ooh. 

After having a baby, your libido often heads for the hills. Coax it back again with a short smut session. If normal porn makes you want to vom, try watching feminist porn instead. Check out Annie Sprinkle or Petra Joy.

Sex toys
For a fast-track clit party, try a sex toy. Ooh By Je Joue and Sh have sex-positive vibrators which wouldn't look out of place on your coffee table, although that's probably not the best place to keep them. 


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