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BRITAIN’S NEXT PM

Britain’s next PM will be a woman, as bookies’ favourite Theresa May and newbie Andrea Leadsom will fight it out for Number 10, after Michael Gove was knocked out in the latest round of voting. The chief Brexiteer could always cheer himself up by re-acquainting himself with the weird TV show he fronted in the 90s, which included some ‘hilarious’ gags about gay people and Hitler…

CHILCOT IN BRIEF

Sir John Chilcot finally published his 2.6 million word report on his inquiry into 2003’s invasion of Iraq. The report said the war was launched on the basis of ‘flawed’ intelligence, that Saddam Hussein presented ‘no imminent threat’ and diplomatic options had not been exhausted.
A number of family members of soldiers killed in Iraq have given their reaction to the report and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has apologised on behalf of his party for ‘the disastrous decision’ to go to war.
After the report’s publication, Tony Blair said ‘I will take full responsibility for any mistakes but I did what was right’.
Reflecting on Blair, Sophie Heawood at the Pool says he was both a brilliant leader and a man who cynically took his country to war, while Ed West at the Spectator says Blair ‘isn’t a liar but a genuine believer… which is what made him so dangerous’.
MI6 faces embarrassment after the report revealed the intelligence service relied on a 'key' Iraqi source who, when describing scenes on the ground, was actually using scenes from action film The Rock.

HASHTAG OF THE WEEK

#BloodyDifficultWomen

Tory grandee Kenneth Clark got caught slagging off Teresa May in an unguarded moment in front of the Sky News camera. He called her a ‘bloody difficult woman’ leading Twitter to have some fun with the #bloodydifficultwomen hashtag.

Raising a glass to Bloody Difficult Women everywhere. #BloodyDifficultWoman pic.twitter.com/f1xFWyc4UA
— Hannah Rose Woods (@hannahrosewoods) July 5, 2016

OTHER NEWS

America is in shock after five police officers were shot dead in Dallas during a protest sparked by the deaths of two African-American men shot dead by police: Philando Castle in Minnesota (whose girlfriend live-streamed the episode on Facebook) and Alton Sterling in Louisiana.
Oscar Pistorius has been given a six-year jail sentence for murdering Reeva Steenkamp.
Terrorist attacks left 20 hostages dead in Dhaka, Bangladesh, and 250 dead in Iraqi capital Baghdad.
Hilary Clinton has been strongly criticised by the head of the FBI for her use of private email servers, but the presidential hopeful will not face criminal charges.
Two young children have died after the car they were travelling in plunged into a loch in the Scottish highlands.
The Government has announced plans to enforce the controversial new contract on junior doctors.
In Canada, a man managed to fight off an angry bear, scoring two punches on the big beast and living to tell the tale.

ARTS

Former Back Eyed Pea Fergie has done her bit to try to break the internet with the video for her new single M.I.L.F.$ featuring an array of scantily-clad celebrity mothers. Kim Kardashian has denied her waist was photoshopped for the video, while our own Lisa Williams writes about the false feminism of Fergie’s MILF empowerment.

The Victoria and Albert Museum has been named Museum of the Year.

The critics might be lukewarm about the Ab Fab movie, but that’s not stopping cinemagoers loving it – a pair of grandmothers got so into it, in fact, that they were thrown out of a cinema for laughing too loudly.

SPORT

Wales’s dream run at Euro 2016 was ended on Wednesday by a Portugal team, inspired by Ronaldo. The Welsh went down 2-0 in the semi-final, a disappointing end to a marvelous campaign. Portugal will face France in Sunday’s final, after the team beat Germany on Thursday night.

Andy Murray takes on Tomas Berdych in the semi-final of Wimbledon today. If he wins, Roger Federer could well be the man to beat in Sunday’s final, with Murray gunning for his second All England Club title.

Things have got messy for Lionel Messi. The world’s greatest footballer (sorry Cristiano) has been handed a 21-month prison sentence for tax fraud, although he is unlikely to serve any jail time.

The IndeXYZ

Going up

1) Spice Girls – whether you really, really want it or not, the Spice Girls are planning a reunion gig for 2017, although Victoria Beckham and Mel C will not be taking part. Emma Bunton, Geri Halliwell (now Horner) and Mel B are planning to rename themselves ‘GEM’.

2) Juno - After a five year journey across space, the Juno aircraft has started orbiting Jupiter.

3) Doughnut cones – Ice cream cone made of doughnuts; possibly the greatest invention in human history.

Going down

1) Chris Evans – After disappointing ratings and a few Twitter rants, the ginger bellower has quit Top Gear after just one series.

2) Hoverboards – The Back to the Future dream could be on hold for a while as half a million hoverboards were recalled in America due to fire risks.

3) Nipples – The visibility of Serena Williams’ nipples to be precise, which SHOCKED tennis fans (apparently). #freethenipple.

READING LIST

If you can bear more Brexit chat: Irvine Welsh on why the referendum result shafted young people, but was also a win for political diversity.
The New Yorker on the enduring crapness of the Facebook news feed.
Ethical shopping in the modern age is a myth, says Michael Hobbes at Huffingon Post.
Entertainment vs journalism at Vice: Chris Ip analyses Vice’s success.

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